On November 3rd 2006, JetPack “Tyler” Darby was preparing for the biggest moment of his life, and it wasn’t just about preparing to run his first marathon in a few hours. He was about to ask the woman that he loved, the one that he had been following, and dare I say coveting, for almost fourteen years, Kelley Ward, to marry him.  He did, she said “yes” and the rest is history. OK, it’s not nearly that simple. Kelley, or Special K as we know her, learned early on what marriage challenges with JetPack might be like as within the next 12 months they purchased a new home, and he looked for a new job all while training for Ironman Moo 2007.  As if, training for an Ironman wasn’t hard enough, JetPack and Special K did all of this with JetPack under the spotlight of the virtual blogworld paparazzi as a member of Team Race Athlete.

I had the pleasure of being a small part of this experience and in the process got to know JetPack and Special K even better, and quickly understood just how amazing and grounded these two people are.

We were so incredibly excited when Tyler and Kelley invited us to their wedding in Philadelphia this weekend. Cindy and I have been a couple for quite some time, long enough to see most of our friends get married, divorced and remarried, so we’ve seen it all and are pretty good at knowing when couples will work and when they won’t. Trust me, it’s not like they’re perfect as individuals, I mean Special K can’t drive for shit. Our mutual friend Emily can attest to experiencing the white knuckling, red-light running, wrong side of the street experiences we had with Special K at the wheel of our rental car in Madison during Ironman weekend. And Jetpack, well he wasn’t planning the Iron Nut for nothing. But together, these two are quite the force, like a tag team of positive energy and purpose. In the case of Kelley and Tyler, this is beyond a perfect match. They’ve already been through  more than most couples were ever intended to, so from our point of view, the hard part is already done. This wedding is, therefore, the beginning of all of the good times and promises that life is meant to provide.

But I digress…

I know that was a long-winded preamble so I’ll cut to the particulars of the Iron Wedding weekend. We arrived in Philadelphia on Thursday night and found that Tyler and Kelley had picked up the cost of one of the nights for our room and provided us with a lovely welcome basket. To continue their graciousness, Cindy and I were invited to the reception dinner, for a terrific meal and an opportunity to reunite with the Darby clan and meet new members of Kelley’s family.

The rehearsal dinner was absolutely perfect with a few toasts, a few roastings and a perfect blend of Tyler playing the strong host and Kelley graciously playing the perfect hostess.  In a particularly emotional moment, Tyler presented his dad with a beautiful watch inscribed with the words “Iron Father” on the back, representing the relationship they have and the strength that exists within this family which is gaining a new member.

Of course any seriousness went by the wayside with this crew, as after dinner the pre-celebration continued back at the hotel bar with stories of Tyler growing up, the arrival of drunken pilot friends and alcohol, and alcohol and alcohol. I mean seriously, Tyler picked the location of the rehearsal dinner across the street from this pet care establishment. What was he trying to suggest?

Friday morning began with me meeting Jetpack for what would be his last run as a single man, a 5.1-mile run along the Schuykill River and boat house row. The trials and blessing s of life came clearly into focus as we ran passed two homeless men debating the merits of the dollar menus at McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy’s. We did the obligatory Rocky run up the stairs of the Art Museum steps and from the top we paused to stare at the Cathedral Basilica where JetPack and Kelley would say there vows just a few hours later. Our run continued along, what else, Kelly Drive. Along the way, we compared wedding planning to Ironman planning and Tyler was absolutely convinced that his Ironman was far easier by comaprison.

He did like the fact that the night before his main event, he didn’t have to eat dinner at 5PM and could carbo load with his favorite libation and it wasn’t CarboPro. As we made our way back to Tyler’s hotel and the end of our run, a serene calmness fell over him. He was ready.

RACE DAY

The Swim:

The choice of venue, the Cathedral Basilica, was out of this world. It was simply extraordinary. Looking up at the ceiling, we wondering how they possibly crafted this immense and intricate structure. The ceremony began with the priest pointing out that this was a historical wedding If only because the bride arrived thirty minutes early. Never in the history of the church has that happened.

Having lost her father, Kelley walked down the aisle alone, a very powerful and emotional statement that had everyone in the audience holding their breaths and causing Tyler to bubble up and cry like a baby, the priest was kind enough to point this out as well, in case anyone in attendance missed it. Kelley made a beautiful bride and the dress, enhanced by Mary, made for a true once in a lifetime experience and a look that was jaw dropping.

Below, Tyler pulled it together long enough to say his vows, exchange rings and officially begin his new life with his wife. Shortly thereafter, Mr. and Mrs. Jetpack walk back up the aisle with Kelley carrying the red rose that was placed on the railing during the ceremony in memory of her father.

T-1

Our first transition required only a short walk to the reception and no change in clothing.

The Bike:

With the formal part of the wedding complete, we all headed back to the Sofitel hotel for the reception, which was without a doubt worthy of “E” Entertainment television in terms of the thought that went into each aspect of the evening. Upon arriving, the foyer contained digital photo albums of the couple and as we walked into the main ballroom, we were provided with paper planes with 08.01.08 written onto them. As the newlyweds entered the ballroom, they were showered in these planes by their guests. This is definitely the first time that I’ve ever thrown a paper airplane at a wedding and didn’t get scolded or removed.

A great touch was that the tables and table cards were not numbered, rather they were labeled with dates and numbers of events from throughout their courtship. We sat at, what else, table 140.6, while others sat at tables recognized for their engagement date 11.03.2006, 13.1 signifying Kelley’s completion of the Philadelphia Distance Run and others referencing their individual birth dates.

Given that the bride went to Julliard, you can expect the dancing to be outrageous and the new couple kicked things off surprising everyone with a Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers routine that would have easily won them the competition at Dancing with the Stars. Yes, Tyler looked a little like George Hamilton in comparison to his lovely bride, but the man has moves and the effect was extraordinary, even more so when we later found out that only 25 percent of the dance was choreographed and the rest was made up on the fly.

Nothing was left to chance. The kids got their own Net Jets kids packages, there was a separate VIP lounge area, great food and amazing friends and family. Joe Wibner “Trifilmer” and his wife added to the experience by bringing with them special race bibs made for this event, which Tyler proudly wore. Even the cake got into the action with a topper of a bride and a groom sharing a ride on their bicycle. I’m not sure if it was a BMC because it required a magnifying glass to see all of the detail, but you can clearly see the deep dish aero wheels.

T2:

As you might expect, we took our time in our second transition as everyone including the bride and groom changed into clothes that more exemplified Kelley and Tyler’s clear urban street upbringing.

The Run

The evening continued until one o’clock on the rooftop of The Continental, a cool bar on 18th Street. As August 1st rolled over into August 2nd, Tyler leaned over to celebrate the completion of their first day of marriage, a very successful one at that.

For those that couldn’t be there in person, you missed a terrific event, but more importantly you were equally in the thoughts of the bride and groom and in those of the attendees. Many glasses were raised to those who the happy couple knew and invited but were unable to attend.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as we enjoyed being there.

Congratulations Kelley and Tyler on a lifetime of happy experiences and great race results.

If you’ve been living under a rock, there is this technology called Twitter, you can read more about it on Texafornia’s blog at www.zentriathlon.com. Now Twitterers are mostly self absorbed, self promoting, insecure, procrastinating, self indulgent or just plain self unaware. Hey I know this because I’m a Twitterer and I probably fall into many of these descriptions. We’re all Modern Jackasses, more on what that is in a future post.

So with my 43rd birthday coming up, I decided to see if Twitter had any real value aside from letting people know where I was on an Ironman Bike course so they could have adequate time to leave Charlie’s or Pizza on Main Street to come out for the 30 seconds to cheer me on as I pass by before making that massage appointment at the Mirror Lake Inn - yes Sherpaing can be done with style.

But I digress. On Saturday, I’ll turn 43 years old and against all good judgment decided to do this whole B-Fit, B-Day that Everyman Triathlete Roman Mica has dreamed up. Let’s face it, an ADD endurance coach like me isn’t going to want to stare at lane lines for 3 hours and I founded a program called Race with Purpose, so here I could kill off a few avian flu birds with one stone by participating in Swim Across America’s Long Island Swim. And given that I’ve only ever swam 2.4-miles before and had so much fun doing that, I figured I could complete Roman’s B-Fit, B-Crap B-Day Challenge and qualify myself to get a cool Rudy Project aero helmet so I can wear it backwards and look like a cone head while riding my Trek 1400 at 14mph.

In the process I can also raise a bunch of money for cancer research to honor my mom who got me into this whole endurance sports thing in the first place. Lastly, I could prove once and for all if Twitter has any use beyond making me feel like I have friends that could ultimately replace my stuffed Barney figure that I talk to all too regularly.

So for the past week, I’ve been acting like the program manager for the local public radio station tweeting all sorts of crap to basically encourage (annoy) people into donating $10. With 80 Twitterers following me (get a life), and most of them spending their non-Twittering time polishing their carbon bike frames, I figured $10 from each person would easily raise more than the $500 I’ve pledged. To make it even  more enticing, I’ve committed to matching the donations up to the $500 just to calm the critics out there who think I’m doing this as a way to get out of paying for the honor to swim with jellyfish in the Long Island Sound. Oh, I fell off of my white horse years ago, and don’t think the thought didn’t cross my mind, but in this case, I’m actually sincere and have the funds to back up my commitment.

So what do you need to do to participate? Go to Twitter and specifically go to my twitter page where you’ll find the link to donate. Trust me, it won’t be difficult to find. I can’t post it here or that would defeat the entire purpose of seeing if we can use Twitter for good as opposed for evil as Brett has proclaimed previously. I want Twitter to be Twitterlicious.

What do you get for this? Nothing, well not nothing, you get to add yourselves to the multitude of people who have already donated like @KonaShelley, @JenWillTri, @TriJD, @HolisticGuru, @hak42 (thanks Tanya), @jg_65, @billrisch and @bmatheny and @Rambonie who have all donated more than their requested $10.

You also get to see if I can get dropped off a boat in the LI Sound and can make it back alive under horrible conditions. Read what the Swim Across America has posted recently:

And since we already know I ain’t doing this in a pool, I’m wearing a full wetsuit and will put duct tape anywhere there is still exposed skin. Hey, the only other tape I had laying around is packing tape and I thought that might not be hypoallergenic. So go to Twitter and donate your $10.

Now switching gears, I have a few thoughts on Roman’s whole B-Sh1t B-Day thing.  Roman, who thought of this stupid thing of swimming 4 miles for 40, 5 miles for 50, 6 miles for 60, 7 miles for 70, 8 miles for 80, 9 miles for 90? Someone’s going to die and YOU’re going to be responsible because all they will gurgle as they’re being pulled out of the water is “I just wanted that Rudy Project aero helmet.” DEAD!

Everyman triathlon my ass! What everyman triathlon at age 88 is going to swim 8 miles, run 8 miles and then cycle 88-miles. Jack LaLane? Maybe you should have included that we need to hold a rope to a tugboat in our teeth to make it more reasonable.

Here are the details and the rules for the B-Dead, B-Myass, B-Day Challenge:

http://bfitbday.ning.com/

Take your age and in any order:

1) Swim the number of miles in the first number,
2) Run the number of miles in the second number,
3) Bike the number of miles in the combined number.

So a 45-year-old athlete would:
1) Swim 4 miles
2) Run 5 miles
3) Bike 45 miles

If you choose to accept the B-Fit B-Day Challenge you must….
Bronze: Do all three (swim/bike/run) during the week of your Birthday.
Silver: Do all three (swim/bike/run) in the three days before, after, or on your B-Day.
Gold: Do all three (swim/bike/run) in 24-hours to celebrate your B-Day!

Important Note: Since “0” Birthdays like 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, and so on are important milestones the “0″ in your birthday represents a 10. This means that on those “0” Birthdays you get to celebrate this big milestone by running ten miles. Whoohooo!

Whatever, I’m a lemming so as I stated above, I’ll be doing the Long Island Sound Swim version.

According to the Swim Across America folks:

“The Long Island Sound Swim started in Larchmont, New York in 1992 at the Larchmont Yacht Club with a 4-mile swim. It was, and still is, dedicated to the memory of Mrs. Kathy Webers, who along with family and friends courageously battled cancer for over a year. Our first year we had 35 swimmers and raised $15,000. In 1994, the swim’s course ended at the Larchmont Shore CLub, where a brunch was held. Without a swim in 1996, the Long Island Swim Committee reformed and in addition to the 4-mile swim added the 1 mile swim. Now, we offer a 6 mile swim as well. We also added the Cancer Support Team and Children’s Hospital of New York- Presbyterian at Cornell Medical Center as additional beneficiaries.

Swimming requirement for 4 milers - 4-mile swimmers must be able to swim 1 mile in 30 minutes or less, as attested to by a Pool Director, Swim Coach or Life Guard.”

NOT!

I freak’n hate to swim and now I have to get a note from my local swimming pool that says I won’t drown on their watch doing this stupid thing, which is, oh by the way, the week after Ironman Lake Placid. Oh give me a break, I did the swim and a loop of the bike there. I just bet that there will be some lame-ass rule that says I can’t listen to music as well similar to the USAT or RRCA rules now. F-that. I’m going out to buy a SwiMP3 or something similar so I can listen to 4 hours of podcasts while I practice drowning myself in the Long Island Sound. What is the level of exposure to bacteria necessarily to contract Hepatitis? Will 3 hours be sufficient or do I need four? Where is lunch served in a four-hour open water swim? Let’s be honest, I’m supposed to swim 4 miles and then I have to run 3? Who thought up of this brilliant parody that is so heavily weighted towards the swimmers? I have an idea, let’s make the swimmers run 40 miles and then they can swim 3.

Roman, I am officially declaring theB-Fit Birthday, the B-F’d Up My Ass Birthday Challenge for the criminally insane. It is incredibly discriminatory. Let me get this straight, a 14 year old has to swim 1 mile, run 4 miles and then bike 14 miles, and a 88 year old man, presumably a bit more frail, has to swim 8 miles, run 8 miles and bike 88 miles? This has got to be some Arian way to kill off the lessor species or an I hate old people statement. And as an older Jew, I take this as a personal assault. Also as an older Jew, as I’m ranting, I know I’m going to do everything in my power to do this stupid thing. Go ahead; brand a number on my arm as soon as possible, I hate it when body markings come off.

Forget Rudy Project and Hornet Juice, you need to be sponsored by Aetna, or Blue Cross or what the hell am I thinking, you need to be sponsored by Mutual Life Insurance Company.

I expect you, Mr. Everyday Triathlete, to financially take care of my girlfriend, my detached selfish and anti-social dog, and my blind/deaf cat after they dredge my lifeless body from the sound. Please make sure someone escorts Cindy to Tyler’s and Kelley’s wedding next week.

But I digress…

For many, Ironman USA in Lake Placid begins 12 months earlier when racers, volunteers and spectators wait in lines of varying lengths in what used to be the Olympic Village to obtain a voucher, a golden ticket, entitling them to register for the following year’s race. In Lake Placid on Ironman weekend, silver wristbands and vouchers separate the entitled from the envious.

On that same morning in 2007, sitting in my office in Midtown Manhattan, I was one of the very few who were able to register without the assistance of a golden ticket, helped by an online Active.com registration system that was plagued with glitches, just enough to delay the opening of online registration and making the exact start time somewhat suspect and elusive. During the confusion, I found a more direct hyperlink to the registration site, had all of my data ready to go, and sat at my desk on conference calls while consistently clicking refresh, refresh, refresh on my keyboard. I speculated correctly that the registration would open up a few minutes before the revised stated time, which it did by about seven minutes. And so I was in, a registered and committed member of a selective group of those who began their experience by sticking an entry into their Outlook calendar like a commitment signed in electronic blood from our pricked and still twitching fingers. I was registered for Ironman USA in Lake Placid on July 20th, 2008.

At the time, I was feeling pretty darn good about myself. I had just run a sub 1:25 half marathon, My Half Ironman bike time on a hilly course was under 3 hours, my weight was slightly under 180lbs and I had successfully trained for and did quite well at the Tupper Lake Tinman Half Ironman just a few weeks before.

What happened between then and now can be clearly seen via the race actuals on the right hand sidebar of my blog, but suffice it to say that things went awry. For those who aren’t regular readers of my blog, the short recap is as follows:

• August - November 2007: Training on track, cautiously optimistic
• November-December 2007: Loss of family member
• February 2008 - April 2008: Viral illness
• April 2008: Training resumes
• May 2008: Illness returns
• June 1st 2008: Black Bear Triathlon - Could not generate enough power to get around the bike course without getting off and walking and DNF’d before the run.

Which brings us to late June 2008 and what for many is the beginning of Ironman Lake Placid month. It begins with the Tupper Lake Tinman Half Ironman distance race. In short, after crashing heavily at Black Bear four weeks earlier, I didn’t know what to expect but I was pleasantly surprised that at Tupper Lake I accomplished all of my goals. I completed the swim, completed the bike and completed the run. I finished the race, not in style and not in any great time, but given where I was, I felt very pleased and encouraged by this result. That said, the lingering illness was still apparently wreaking havoc on my physiological systems as evidenced by the fact that I found myself during the run shuffling along at a 12:00 min/mile pace with a heart rate at 172 beats per minute. To put this into perspective, 170 beats per minute is reflective of my lactate threshold effort and the same heart rate at which one year earlier I was running 7 min/miles in the NYC Half Marathon. At Tupper, my primary goals was to finish the race and I knew that there was no way that I was going to do that by running at effort levels exceeding my LT. Dutifully, I reduced my pace to about 12:30 min/mile to keep my effort level below that 170 marker and continued to shuffle along taking walk breaks whenever my heart rate exceeded that marker.

Now let’s be honest, it’s hard to shuffle along at that pace. People that regularly run at a twelve to fourteen minutes per mile pace have my utmost respect if only because they take so many extra steps and are out there on hot courses for so much longer. At Tupper Lake, I was one of them. Race with Purpose Wonder Twins, Joshquatch and Holistic Guru made my day and the day for others by coming back out after the Sprint triathlon to run with the rest of us that were still out there on the Half Ironman course. In the end, I finished with a bike split of 3:25 (16.3mph) keeping my average heart rate at 142 bpm, and a run time of 2:49 (12:54), with an average heart rate of 160 bpm. This was the data that I looked at as I considered revising my objectives for Ironman Lake Placid scheduled for just three weeks later.

For the best trained athletes, Ironman is not to be taken lightly. A 2.4-mile swim, a significantly more challenging 112-mile bike course and a marathon for the run make IMLP a race that is to be treated with serious respect. Given that I was still having trouble running 5 miles around my house without having to stop to catch my breath, I new I’d have to revise both my expectations and objectives for this event. The one thing I really wanted to do on Tupper Lake weekend was to ride at least one loop of the IMLP bike course the day after the race, but I was simply too beat up to do it. So at this point, I still didn’t know if I could push my carcass around the bike course on race day. All I had to go on was a 3:35 Half Iron bike time.

After some contemplation, I decided to participate in IMLP but to limit my participation to completing the 2.4-mile swim and one 56-mile loop of the bike course. My key goal was to complete both before the 1:30pm cutoff. I took my 3:25 bike split and the completion of the Tupper Lake Half along with the fact that my ‘91 Ford Explorer had made it to/from both Tupper Lake and Princeton, NJ as positive signs that my objectives for IMLP would be achievable.

To be continued…