So like every good coach, I submersed myself in data until I found the data that I liked the most and here it is. Forget Avi’s stellar 2:51 Boston Marathon finish where he knocked off 19 minutes from his former personal best, while at the same time setting two half marathon PR’s in the same race, with a 1:26 in the first half and then a 1:25 in the second. I have found out that I will die when I am 89.9 years old, barring getting hit by a car while running or cycling. More importantly, I’m going to be healthy until I’m 74.1 years old which means that I can almost walk the marathon and still qualify as the qualifying time for a male between the age of 70 - 74 is 4 hours 30 minutes. Whoooohoooo. I might even get JetPack and Rambo to run it with me at that pace.

This test also told me that I’ve banked 11.4 years although I’m not quite sure how that works since it says that I am right now the equivalent of a 37.5 year old, which is roughly 6 years younger than my actual age. They also tell me that I can add 5.5 more years to my life, but since I’ve already banked 11.4, I’m saying “No Deal” Mr. Banker. I can get more than that 5.5 years all on my own just by watching less reality television. I firmly believe that watching The Hills sucks life out of you. Rock of Love, on the other hand, can only help to stimulate healthy living.

My one concern is what will I be like between age 74.1 and 89.9? Will I be drooling or in a wheelchair? That’s a long time for my life to suck, which is another reason, I’m not anxious to live longer, I’m anxious to live healthier longer. I guess the moral of the story is that as long as I stay under 5 hours for a marathon, I’ll once again be able to run in that great race. Time to go swim with the BQers at the JCC. There’s probably a few wrinkly guys over there I can coach down to that 5 hour time limit.