I’m a coach and an athlete and a human being with all of the successes and failings that go along with each of those. This was supposed to be the year, the season when I was primed to shave 10 years off of my life and return to the level of performance in all three of those categories when times were simpler and bones were stronger. It sure started out that way; all last season I committed to putting in the base training to give my body a fighting chance to compete this year. Aside from still hanging onto a few extra pounds, I was cranking on the bike, improved in the swim and my purest of activities, running, had given me an arguably undeserved second chance with near PR performances in half marathon and 10K distances. I even ran the Knickerbocker 50k to top off the year to complete the over-distance I felt was absolutely necessary to hit 2008 in stride. Big plans were made with registrations at both IMLP and IMOO feeling that I would complete IMLP and compete in IMOO which plays much more to my style and abilities. One last chance at focused athletic performance before the complexities of life take over and demand an altering of priorities.
And then came January 2008 during which I came down sick. Yes, I know everyone gets sick but this consisted of twelve weeks of flu then sinusitis and finally an extended battle with viral pneumonia. Being stubborn, I chose not to take any antibiotics, first because knowing it was viral, I knew they wouldn’t have helped anyway, but also because I felt that all the antibiotics would do is successfully kill off the weakest elements leaving the stronger one’s inside of me waiting to regroup and attack again in a more resilient manner. The affect on my training was astounding - not being able to breath, focus or even walk around the house without falling down in a heap can do that to me. I didn’t lose twelve weeks of training, I lost all of the benefits from last year’s hard work. Gone! Bye-bye! See ya later! Riding to meet JetPack 11 miles away at the White Plains airport left me out of breath and weak as a newborn. At the same time, my work situation became, how does one tactfully put this, tenuous at best, and all of my efforts went into redefining myself into a new role amidst declining company revenue growth and significant lay-offs. Throughout this time, I was being attacked by friends who seem to have adopted this heightened sense of entitlement and loss of gratitude, no, not not even gratitude but a complete lack of acknowledgment or appreciation for the efforts I have put in on their behalf to improve their own experiences. I’ve unfairly written this off as a New York thing because in my over 40 years of life, I’ve never experienced this with people from California, Texas or Ohio, the three other geographies where I have the greatest interactions both professionally and personally. I know that all New York people are not like this but I have come to the conclusion that whatever is in the water that makes great bagels may also contribute to heightened insecurities or self deprecation that leads to less constructive behaviors. By the way, it isn’t just me, I’ve witnessed how these same people have taken other so-called friends’ efforts for granted and treated them as basically refuse to be disposed when it is no longer convenient to have them around.
Lastly, we lost our beloved family member Wally under horrific circumstances and too many of our friends around us began to drop lies flies, or experienced tragedies of their own creating the very odd situation of attending more funerals than dinner parities. In short, it’s been difficult and challenging and every other hackneyed adjective that goes along with life’s sarcasm. As my good friend Rambonie reminds us “Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” OK so he quoted from Samuel Johnson but often we need a reminder of the basics if nothing else to remind us of our blessings and to give us some sense of clarity or hope in the darkest of times, and let’s be clear as dark as it may seem, it’s a brilliant basket of God’s gifts to people who have so much less.
